A Run-in PERFORMance
The most exercise I get in the average day is walking up and down stairs. If procrastination were an elective it would greatly improve my GPA because I always tell myself that I will get back to Concordia’s Le Gym every time I walk by it. Recenlty, I got the chance to put my natural, unexercised body to the test with the opening of Concordia’s new PERFORM Centre.
Walking into the white painted clinical area reminded me of shopping at the Apple Store. This Mac-like space is the latest investment to expand Concordia University’s footprint in the city. The research projects will include how to maintain an active and healthy lifestyle, eliminate obesity and overcome physical inactivity. In short, the PERFORM Centre is Concordia’s latest opportunity for the medical and scientific community in Montreal to break new ground in exercise and health science.
Amazed by the high-tech lab and bright lights bouncing off the white walls, I had no clue what I was getting myself into. I was greeted by the young and enthusiastic PERFORM team who quickly began explaining to me the process of what I would be doing. Excited that I was getting a sneak peak before the grand opening, I just smiled and kept nodding my head.
Before changing into my tracksuit, I was asked if I had a hairy chest. Getting nervous for what was to come, I answered meekly: Yes…? One of the PERFORM instructors took out a surgical razor and told me that he would have to shave some areas of my chest to attach the strobe wires in order to successfully carry out the “stress test”. Saddened to part with my chest hair, which has been a part of me for a long time, I decided to take one for the team and watched the hair fall to the floor (In honour of the 40-year-old Virgin, I did scream “Kelly Clarkson.”)
All patched up and ready to go, I was led by a Concordia student intern to an exercise bike connected to a network of computers.
I was then asked to bite on a large see-through tube that would measure my breathing — a larger version of a breathalyzer/asthma puffer. For any Star Wars fans out there, I felt like Luke Skywalker in that scene where he is in a healing tank. (Sorry Concordia, I had to drop some of my favourite childhood pop culture references into this).
I felt like a science-fiction character as my stress test began. The first 30 seconds went by with ease and I felt confident that I could pedal all day. But the tube in my mouth made me feel uncomfortable and I began to worry about my breathing. Then, I glanced over at the computer and saw my anxiety translated into a chart, which made me more anxious. Not long after, I was panting for oxygen. A few agonizing moments later, I threw in the towel.
With large smiles, the PERFORM evaluators gave me a quick explanation of the analysis. It was all a bit technical, so the leader of the group broke it down for me. I am officially out of shape. The first thing that popped into my mind was running to my friends and declaring my condition, but then one of the evaluators added, in a sweet tone, “at your level, your chances of improving are a lot higher.” I suppose that means I should really go back to Le Gym. Okay then, I’ll start tomorrow…
Related links:
• “PERFORM Centre officially opens” – NOW, November 9, 2011
• Le Centre