Dippin’, duckin’, divin’ and dodgin’

Meagan Boisse studies in the Department of Journalism. For her current undergraduate work term with the Institute for Co-operative Education, she is employed as a roving reporter at Concordia.ca.

My comrades position themselves along the gym’s back wall in preparation for battle. We face our steely-eyed foes, a line of balls dividing us.

Then, the war horn sounds:  “One, two, three, DODGEBALL!”

Every Saturday for the past five years, the good men and women of the Concordia Dodgeball League have held a match at Le Gym.

Jana Ghalayini, vice-president of marketing for the club and a formidable player, says students become so attached to the sport that they continue to turn up for the weekly battles, even after they’ve completed their studies.

“We have a lot of graduates that still play. They’ve left Concordia but they don’t want to leave dodgeball,” says Ghalayini. “The fact that it's free, it's fun and it's every week keeps people happy.”

The club’s vice-president of external affairs, Yaya Karam, developed a love for the pastime last year, after checking out one of the association’s bi-annual tournaments.

“It became more to me than just a game,” he says. “It gets things out of my mind, so any time I feel too stressed to study I come to dodgeball.”

In line with the notion that you’re never too old to play, Karam says one of the club’s more memorable moments occurred when an elderly couple showed up to rain terror upon the youngsters.

“Turns out they were actually Concordia students, but from a long, long time ago,” says Karam. “She was in her seventies and willing to hit everyone and go for it, and her husband came with all his kit. It was amazing.”

As for those who are apprehensive about the club due to a long history of getting dodgeballs in the face, Ryan Wong, vice-president of internal affairs, says there’s no need to worry.

"We don’t promote that. We penalize teams that do that,” he says.

Phew…

“A lot of people have that nostalgia of playing so they’re totally in, or they're kind of scared from past experiences,” he adds. “It’s definitely a way to revisit the days of your youth.

“Everyone is actually really, really friendly,” says Wong, adding that it’s a great way to get active without sacrificing your Saturday night. Games run from 6 to 8 p.m.

“Just come once, and I'm sure you're going to get hooked,” adds Ghalayini. “That's how everyone here got into it. They came once, and now they come every single week.”

A glimpse of glory

The horn sounds for the game to start, and a struggle of epic proportions ensues. The one they call Calvin — limber after some pre-game stretching — hurls a ball across the gymnasium with the power of a thousand biceps.

For ten glorious minutes, rubber hails down around us. One by one my teammates fall, until I’m the lone survivor.

I’ve made it thus far by cowering behind others and looking sufficiently pathetic as not to warrant attention.

In my 11th hour I think of how the indefatigable David struck down Goliath. My hands fasten tightly around my chosen weapon as I briefly revisit a childhood trauma involving gym equipment and my head.

I suppress my fear. Maybe, just maybe, I can bring my team back from the brink.

Alas, it’s not to be. I’m taken out before I can even lift my arm to throw.

Lost moment of glory aside; it was fun to pay homage to the mildly terrifying game that marked my yesteryear.

After all, one’s never too old for the classic activity of dodge and throw.

If you want to learn more about the Concordia Dodgeball League or join in for a game all you have to do is show up with sneakers at Le Gym (1515 Ste-Catherine St. W.) on Saturdays at 6 p.m.

And remember, “If you're going to become true dodgeballers, then you've got to learn the five d's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!” – Patches O’Houlihan.